Random thoughts now, a few days before March 1st

 "...we humans are reckless with our bodies, reckless with our lives, for no other reason that that we want to know what would happen, what it might feel like to brush up against death, to run right up to the edge of our lives, which is, in some ways, to live fully." -Transcendent Kingdom 

"If today was my last day on earth, did i live it well? Rather than could everyone see my abs, or was I think enough for the patriarchy?" - Jameela Jamil

"The opposite of sensitive is not brave. It's not brave to refuse to pay attention, to refuse to notice, to refuse to feel and know and imagine. The opposite of sensitive is insensitive, and that's no badge of honor."  - Untamed

"...imagination is not just the catalyst of art, it's also the catalyst of compassion. Imagination is the shortest distance between two people, two cultures, two ideologies, two experiences." - Untamed

"She will need to remind herself that being called a racist is actually not the worst thing. The worst thing is privately hiding her racism to stay safe, liked, and comfortable while others suffer and die. There are worse things than being criticized - like being a coward." - Untamed

Things I'm feeling now - like I am constantly feeling like my worth is judged by other people noticing my hard work, which is not at ALL how I want to feel, but I cannot help it. I need to be more intentional about realizing that if I am making myself proud, that is enough. Why do I feel this way though?? I can't pin it down. Maybe I have always been like this and PUMS and covid is taking it out of me? Actually I think that is accurate. I have been instilled with this since high school, and it comes out when my mental health is worst. Life isn't about what other people think of you but of what you think of yourself. So why can't I put that into practice?